Over my 23 years of existence, video games have always been a staple in my life. My first experience with gaming was at a very young age with the Sega Mega Drive and the PlayStation 1. When I was quite literally a newborn baby, my dad looked after me a lot, and it turned out an easy way to entertain us both was for him to play the original Tomb Raider games on his PS1. It’s no surprise that as soon as I was old enough to understand that I was playing games.
In this regard, video games have always provided me with a sense of enjoyment.
Whether it be Barbie: Race & Ride on the PS1 all the way to Halo 3 and Pokemon, video games have kept me entertained – which was essential because being an only child can often get lonely. I think that my parents thought that I would grow out of games as a lot of children did, but they have stuck with me to this day because of what they offer me. And what they offer me is a sense of escape and release when I really needed them.
When I was 14 my mother was very ill with cancer, and being only 14 at school in a time where hormones and social pressures were flying about everywhere. I was bullied for my appearance as I started to get older, and felt the pressures of having to conform to what was shown and considered to be “beautiful” as many young people are.
Looking back I can see how quickly I closed myself off to everyone as I didn’t know how to express myself and I didn’t feel safe enough to talk to anyone about what was happening at home. There’s no doubt that 14-year-old me became deeply depressed and filled with anxiety: I failed exams where I was usually averaging B grades, I quit playing the flute that I played in the school band, I stopped talking to my friends, I gave in to an extremely toxic and emotionally abusive relationship and I ate practically nothing when before you couldn’t get me to stop eating.
Although I felt that I couldn’t talk to anyone, I still turned to video games because they let me temporarily escape what was happening around me. I would go on Animal Crossing and simply plant flowers for hours and go fishing because it relaxed me and put my mind at ease. I’m not saying that it was a healthy coping mechanism because it really wasn’t, but the stories such as Halo Reach gave me an outlet where I could still be genuinely happy. Playing games like Halo also prompted me to play with friends from school and rebuild that connection with those that I hadn’t spoken to in a while. In this way, gaming has also provided me with a sense of community and friendship that allowed me to overcome isolating myself and overall improving my mental health.
Video games have also often provided me with a sense of reward for my time. Slaying my first dragon on Skyrim was exhilarating when it first came out, and I find myself often having a sense of purpose through completing quests and side quests in the games I play.
Games have also been very educational for me. At a young age I wasn’t very good at spelling and to combat this my mum got me a game that I could play on my computer, and with me being so young I didn’t realise that this game was helping me learn how to spell. Even daft games such as the Easy-Bake Kitchen old pc game (which came with this amazing keyboard attachment that entertained me for hours) helped me to at least understand the basics of baking and I’m pretty sure my mum still has this stashed somewhere.
Fortunately, my mum won her fight (which I am immensely proud of her for), and I have since been to therapy to help myself overcome my mental health issues. That doesn’t mean that I’m necessarily better, however. Having a few tough years at university with toxic and controlling individuals, video games again helped me through the rough times. I would also reward myself with being able to play games, for example, I would say to myself that if I completed the research for an essay then I could play games after. This kind of motivation seemed to really work on me, as I still did this completing my masters this year. I fully believe that I have been able to achieve some of my best work when I have the reward of being able to play a game when I have finished – obviously this doesn’t work well for everybody!
My mental health has really improved since being 14, and although not always great, I can recognise and address my health in a constructive and practical way. I think that video games will always remain a part of me because they were there for me at such a crucial period of time. I constantly find myself moved by the narratives of games such as the latest God of War and Shadow of The Tomb Raider, with these games still giving me that much-needed escape that is needed from stressful adult life.
Video games often get a lot of criticism from those who don’t really understand the games and the industry itself, but for me personally, video games benefit my mental health tremendous amounts and I am really grateful to those who put the time and effort to make them.
— Whilst video games help, it’s also paramount that you seek help if you really need it. Games are good to distract, entertain, and stimulate you but ultimately seeking the medical and professional help is what’s important. Since getting the therapy I enjoy my games even more now because the pressure of relying on a game to make me happy has been shifted away. I just wanted to make clear that yes video games are so important to my mental health, but that’s because I pair them with coping mechanisms and activities to help myself. I always remember that it’s okay to not be okay. —
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